Sometimes I just want to turn my brain off. You know when you just want to stop thinking or feeling… that kind of turn it off. It’s at this time that I find myself missing TikTok. God, TikTok could turn my brain off. I presume it was the overwhelming amount of content it was having to process per minute and the fact that it couldn’t keep up, so it would feel like my brain faded to the background. A delicious hum of static — that’s all I’d be left with.
The show Selling Sunset has a similar effect.
This week I’ve had the sort of days after which I am desperate to stop feeling, but the whole ‘not having TikTok’ meant that I was missing my go-to numb-er.
It’s funny to think a social media platform can have such a strong numbing effect. That it had become my ‘drug’ of choice. I mean, I’m hardly saying the days of old were healthier — when I was younger, my choice of numbing was alcohol and a good old hyper-fixation. Between those two, I switched off two years of my university experience. But still…
I feel there are a lot of reasons so many of us just want to ‘switch off’ at this point. So many people seem to be exhausted. The majority of us check in and check out each day of a capitalistic corporate world that isn’t interested in prioritising our needs — not when their bottom line might be at stake.
Perhaps that’s why so many of us feel lost.
The last couple of days, I’ve felt both lost and emotionally fried. The sort of feeling you have when it’s like there’s been a weight on your chest, and sure that weight has lifted… but it’s left a bruise.
I haven’t wanted to think about that bruise, but I haven’t wanted to redownload TikTok and totally switch off either. It feels like giving the bruise too much power. Instead, I’ve tried to prioritise doing things that keep my mind busy but don’t completely switch me off. I’ve tried to centre myself in some of the real joys of life and lean into that.
So here are some of my top tips for small ways to feel found:
Baking
I find it hard to think too much when I’m baking — mainly because I am so stressed about getting it wrong. If that statement doesn’t make it obvious. I am not a natural baker, nor an experienced one. But in the last few months I’ve grown to really enjoy it.
The reward of having home baked goods around the house is just off the chart. And there’s something incredibly grounding about making something with your own hands and then seeing the finished result — it is a bit of a ‘How can things be that bad if I can do this?’ moment. The result of your work is real and right in front of you.
Reading
There is nothing like getting lost in a good book. It’s a comforting kind of lost. It is not turning the brain off but switching the channel and letting yourself go somewhere else.
Thematically my book this week also explored ‘feeling lost’ so I am sure that was doing some good old therapy work in the back of my mind while I read. It’s Coco Mellors’ sophomore novel: Blue Sisters, and the line I’m left clinging to is from the prologue: “As long as you are alive, it is never too late to be found.”
Exercise
Urgh, sorry I know!! But as I’ve said before, all those health journals (and my mum) are right. Exercising does make us feel better… For me, it’s running and swimming that are the true “Get me out of my head” experiences.
Swimming because it totally switches you off from all other distractions (and I spend most of the time counting my strokes) and then running… Running just feels good. Often you’re thinking “oh my god how do I keep going” but if not that then perhaps you can enjoy whatever you’re listening to. I’m running with an audiobook at the moment.
Gaming
In the last few years, I’ve definitely got back into gaming because it’s a big interest for my partner. Sometimes there are games that totally immerse you in the world (e.g. Baldur’s Gate 3) and then there are games that feel like a warm hug — I’ve played both in the last few days — the latter being a game called Florence, on the Switch, that again explores feeling lost and the journey to finding yourself. Look at all this perfect timing!
Time with those you love
Finally, it has been the compassion and generosity of those I love that has helped soothe the ache the most. People allowing me to vent and cry, and helping me work through the emotions to a place closer to peace. And who have helped distract me when I’ve wanted that too.
I’ve also been lucky enough to be dog-sitting too, and having a dog to curl up with has done more good than I could have imagined.
It’s a bit of a different style piece this Sunday, but I wanted to write, and I know I can’t be alone in this feeling. So I hope any of my suggestions can help anyone who is feeling a bit lost or is just in need of a good old ‘decompress’ for the brain. And I am open to any suggestions from you all as well!!
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I feel so similar Grace. As you say, it seems so many of us are exhausted at the moment and feel like we need to switch our brains off. I also deleted TikTok lately and I'm making a conscious effort not to turn to the apps when I need some down time. I've found cooking and baking to be so therapeutic as well as reading and exercise. Thank you for sharing!
I love these ideas! You definitely don’t want to over stimulate your brain with too much doom scrolling. I feel anything is bad if you overdue it but it doesn’t help that there are social media apps that constantly shove ads down our face 24/7.
I really love the vibe of Substack because people interact and it’s wholesome content.