I want to go to a concert & not be afraid of dying
Trading friendship bracelets and looking at the state of violence against women/girls
In case you have no interest in Taylor Swift, she is currently ending the European leg of her Eras tour with five sold out nights in Wembley Stadium. Which is no small feat. For those who are fans of Taylor Swift, the Eras tour has been a huge moment in her musical career. Honestly, just as a fact, the Eras tour has been a huge moment, point-blank. It is record-breaking.1
But that wasn’t what I was thinking about as I got ready for her opening night on her return to Wembley. Nor was my largest concern what I would wear when I had put approximately zero thought (despite previous intentions) into what era I’d be resembling. No, I was incredibly concerned that I was glittering up to go to my death.
In 2017, Ariana Grande’s concert in Manchester was bombed, killing 22 people and injuring more than 8002. It felt blatant that the venue chosen was one filled to the brim with women and girls. It had been an attack on them explicitly.3
This happened whilst I was in my first year at university. I remember where I was when the news broke; I was at the gym, glued to my phone, unable to look away. It felt like me and my friends easily could have been there.
And then, just two weeks before Swift returned to London, we experienced the fatal attack on a children’s Taylor Swift dance club, where three young girls were killed again. The following week, an attack on Swift’s concerts in Vienna were foiled and all the shows were cancelled.
Regarding the Southport attack, the far-right were quick to jump in and create their own reality — it became a conversation about the UK’s intolerance and fear of immigrants and asylum seekers, and misinformation online. A conversation that very much needed to happen, as the riots have demonstrated. But the conversation that slipped under the waves was the one about violence on women and girls. To attack a Taylor Swift themed event is to once again know your targets.
Violence against women and girls has been declared a ‘national emergency’ in the UK following the recent release of the first national analysis of the scale of violence against women and girls (VAWG) by the National Police Chiefs’ Council (NPCC).4 The Guardian has launched a ‘Killed women count’ of the women allegedly killed by men in 2024. On the 15th August, the count reached 50.5
All of this is to say that the anxiety trapped within my chest from the moment the Vienna concerts were cancelled till the second I got home from my concert on Thursday felt incredibly valid. The joy I’d experienced in the lead up was undermined by the threat. They say this is what the purpose of a terror attack is — to inspire fear. But it wouldn’t inspire quite so much fear without the wider context of hatred.
It felt silly to risk my life for a concert. But it felt silly to be so afraid too. I followed the news daily. Hourly. Reading every update that there was from London. Assurances that Wembley was tightening its security, that it was always vigilant. “We have learnt from Manchester” they repeated. And yet I saw articles of women selling their tickets anyway.
“Ticket prices for London drop amid fears” newspapers’ sensationalised.
What am I going to do? was all I could think. It was a one step at a time sort of thing to overcome the anxiety. I’ll get ready. I’ll go to my friend’s. We’ll travel to Wembley. We’ll get inside. And then… Well, then after it all, I’ll think about getting out.
The concert itself was brilliant. Swift is nothing if not a performer. And she knows her audience. There is something about feeling part of a community. Of being one of 92,000 people all singing the same songs. There was no acknowledgement of the last month of horrors that have unfolded with Swift’s name at the centre. It was a concert focused on joy.
On the way there and home, you could spot the fellow concert-goers. Outfits reflecting one of Swift’s albums. Wrists adorned with the friendship bracelets that have become a staple of attending. At the end a young girl came over to me and my friend (seemingly encouraged by her mother) to swap bracelets. There is so much importance in feeling part of something bigger than yourself.
When I was journaling about this topic and deciding if I wanted to write a public blog on it, I was wrestling with the idea that my feelings might be a bit irrelevant. We love to play ‘in the grand scheme of things’ after all. And sometimes that is valid. It is helpful to remember that a lot of people have it worse if you are stuck in a spiral. But all the hatred and violence towards women doesn’t exist in a vacuum. The atrocities suffered by women in Gaza exist in the same world as the killing of young girls in England.6 And the threat of it in Austria. All of it matters. All of it needs addressing.
What do we do in the face of this ‘epidemic’ of violence against women and girls? How do we right it? In 2024, we stand with known sexual predator Donald Trump running for president… AGAIN.7 Men feel vulnerable and turn to figures like Andrew Tate. The rise of fourth wave feminism petered out and it feels like there has been an emptiness in its place. Fourth wave feminism failed again to truly consider intersectionality, but rather than developing it, it just feels like we let the whole narrative go.
And what remains is the chilling statistic that perpetrators of domestic violence against women are getting younger.8
The new Labour government in the UK promises to treat violence against women and girls as the national emergency that it is. I suppose all we can hope is that they mean that. And until then… Where does that leave us? How will we treat the root cause of this sickness — persistent misogyny?9
We dress up in our sparkly outfits and trade homemade friendship bracelets. “How I love being a woman” trends on TikTok. Lesbian icons like Chappell Ronan rise in popularity. We continue to exist and go to the concerts and experience the joy. And we hope that they won’t kill us for it.
I was there for the first night on the 15th as well and i remember the discussions leading up to it with my family, talking about footwear and procedure for if we had to get out. Nobody should have to fear for their life going to a concert. Even though the show was amazing and everything was fine, i will never forget wondering what might happen just because of my love for one woman's music. Thank you for writing this - it's a discussion that needs to have been had. 🫶🏻
This was a chilling reminder of how important it is to observe the significance of our sacrifices that allow us to embrace and enjoy what feeds us our vitality